The Horror of Hee Haw: Deadly Blessing (1981)

 Wes Craven’s early work was pretty solid. I’ve seen all the classics and they hold a special place in my heart. Probably my favorite growing up was surprisingly, Deadly Blessing. This strikes people as odd. I’ll explain. I would rabidly consume anything featuring an actor or actress I liked, any movie or TV appearance was immediately on my most see list as long as it featured an actor I was into. Maren Jenen, being on Battlestar Gallactica and having few credits to her name, was most sought after and so Deadly Blessing became a special film.

Blood Sucking Swingers: The Velvet Vampire (1971)

A woman walks down a lonely street and was assaulted by a surrogate jeans and a T-shirt. He puts her on the ground straddles her holding a switchblade to her throat as she stares at him. She resists but only slightly, never taking her eyes off of him. As he goes in to kiss her, she stabs him with the same switchblade in the gut. She then washes her hands of blood in the nearby decorative pool outside the stoker gallery. Such is our introduction to Diane LeFanu, the velvet vampire.

Hammer Horror: Ingrid Pitt In Countess Dracula (1971)

In honor of Women In Horror Month, I thought I would have a look at one of my favorite Hammer Films starring my all-time favorite woman in horror. Ingrid Pitt is a star you’ve heard me rave on and on about. Interestingly enough, her horror films are very few. We’ve discussed The Vampire Lovers before and now it’s time for her other great Hammer Horror; Countess Dracula.

True Christmas Evil: Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)

When most horror historians talk about the slasher genre, one film comes to mind as being a catalyst,... Halloween. Many mainstream critics believe that it's the film that started the genre, however, there were others. Halloween isn’t even the first film about the night HE came home.  There's no denying that Halloween is a masterpiece. Nobody in their right mind would ever consider it otherwise, but it was not the first. That honor belongs to a little film called Silent Night, Bloody Night.

Christmas slays: Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Christmas, that special time of year when people give and get, go out of their way for their fellow man, and yes, the suicide rate spikes through the roof! This holiday has always had its dark side, simply because one person’s happiness is often another’s misery. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. Not that I’m a scrooge or anything, but ones happiness and success often magnifies another’s failures and sadness. I think we do society a great injustice by not recognizing that simple and important fact.

That is why there is always at least one horror film during the holiday season. People need to get out that aggression and work though their hidden desires to hurt and maim. Horror films do this, but it wasn’t always that way. Horror films during the holiday season or more to the point, about the holiday season, weren’t always acceptable. Not until one film changed the playing field forever…Silent Night Deadly Night.

Barbara Steele's Black Sunday AKA Mask of Satan (1960)

Every year I start off the season with some key films to set the mood. Its just the thing to do. I love witches, vampires, and spooky settings and one film makes the most of these things, that film is Mario Bava's Black Sunday.

JAWS Gets Real: Mako: Jaws of Death (1976)

How many killer shark flicks are there? More than you can shake your fins at! It’s time to look at one that’s a little different, a film that actually doesn’t have one fake shark in it. Today on Craptacular Shark Week we look at Mako, no not the little dude from Conan the Barbarian, Mako: The Jaws of Death! Mako came out one year after Jaws and strangely, maybe because of that, the film is a cut above the rest.

Boris Karloff's Tales of Terror: Black Sabbath (1963)

It’s getting to be that special time of year once again where I dust off the exceptional classics and indulge in the pleasures of the masters. That time when man made monsters walk the earth and blood sucking demons lurk behind castle walls. Halloween is drawing near, and with that it’s time for a Sabbath, a Black Sabbath. 

JAWS Runs for the Border: Tintorera: Killer Shark (1977)

"There's a monstrous killer churning up the sea... Tintorera ...Tiger Shark"

What? There are even more killer shark flicks for Sinful Celluloid’s Craptacular Shark Week? God yes! Moving right along, we are going to jump from Italy to Mexico with 1977’s Tintorera!  Is this movie better than our previous two Shark flicks? It depends on what you want. This flick has non-stop sex, nudity, some gore and Celluloid Sinners Susan George, Fiona Lewis, and even Priscilla (Terri from Three’s Company) Barnes…yes please! Oh, and there’s a shark too.  Yes, the shark is listed last. Let me explain.

The Shark Never Worked Better! JAWS (1975)

Well we’ve looked at the worst, we’ve looked at the weirdest and the most laughable, it’s time to look at the best.  I thought I would conclude the Sinful Celluloid Craptacular Shark Week with the one film that is anything but, the original 1975 timeless classic, JAWS. This film scared me out of the water. I was only about 4 or 5 when I saw it and then around 11 when we pretty much went to the movies to see it every day on the rerelease. It has remained a big part of my life ever since. Jaws is such a great film that set the bar high, mainly because there is a lot more going on here than just man vs shark.  There are a few key differences between the film and the original novel. That’s to be expected, so we’ll look at those as well. Come with me now, back into the water.

JAWS TOO: The Last Shark (1981)

“It wasn’t a Mako, wasn’t a Tiger, There’s only one shark big enough to cause that kinda damage!”

I am a huge Jaws fan. Hell, I must have seen it in the theater over 15 times between the initial run and the rerelease, of course since I was so young it scared me from the beach for life. Oh well, it’s a small price to pay. It wasn’t till I was an adult that I realized the impact of Jaws, not just here, but all over the world. Everybody loves Jaws, and those that don’t damn well should! Little did I know that there was so much more shark fun to have and it was all coming from Italy!

Satan's Blood (1978) AKA Escalofrío

Ah, the Satanic Seventies. I call them that because there were just so many satanic movies coming out during that time. Satanism was big in Hollywood, the latest “thing”. So of course it would bleed into the work as well. Rosemary’s Baby was the first large scale film of its kind, but like all successful films, it created its own sub-genre and imitators, the good along with the bad and the truly disturbing. Such a film is 1978’s Satan’s Blood.

The Horror that Could Have Been: The Curse of the Crimson Altar (1968)

What would it have been like to have the Universal monsters meet Hammer Horror in Italy? I like to think that the outcome of that meeting would be glorious. Though their eventual meeting was less than what we've dreamed up, it was still an interesting glimpse into the possibilities that would soon cease to be. I'm talking of course about “The Curse of the Crimson altar.” Starring three horror icons and boasting a supporting cast of stars in their own right, this film will live on if only for that reason.

El Hombre Lobo: Dr. Jekyll vs the Werewolf (1972)

There's nothing cooler than when two monsters go head-to-head. It seems like a no-brainer, but it really isn't something that happens all that often. Sure, we had monster mash is like House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula, both for universal, but those films aren't very good. By the time those films were made Lon Chaney Jr had become a caricature as the Wolf Man, and I never liked John Carradine as Dracula. He always seemed a bit too frail. Universal's reign of terror really ended with the 1930s with the exception of the original Wolfman (1941), and the creature from the black lagoon (1954), arguably, one of the few good things to come out of the 1950s.

Europe, however, learned from these early ventures, and in the 1970s, one man rose to fame restoring classic monsters to their former glory, his name was Paul Naschy. Now she played almost every horror archetype in the book, appearing as Dracula, Frankenstein Monster (briefly), the mummy, hunchback, a zombie, and of course, the werewolf. Though he never played Dr. Jekyll, they did share the screen, in 1972’s Dr. Jekyll versus the werewolf.

Till death do us part: The Night Evelyn Came out of her Grave (1971)

“It's not uncommon for a man to want to do strange things to get his kicks”

Have you ever had a film that you rarely watch, but somehow, it stays at the forefront of your mind? That's my deal with “The Night Evelyn Came out of her Grave”. It's not a film I watched often, but one I'm always excited to read something new about.  I would probably watch the film a lot more if the opening few minutes didn't disappoint me so, let me explain. 

Loving your mother to death: Burial Ground AKA The Nights of Terror (1981)

When I would go into the video store looking for a new shock, I would always pick up the movies that didn’t have any pictures on the box. It just seemed that it was soooo terrifying that they couldn’t show you anything (Hey, I was young)! One such movie was “Burial Ground: The nights of Terror”.

The film opens with Professor Ares (Renato Barbieri) studying ancient ruins in a cave.  Unfortunately for him, sometimes things are better left where they are.  A horde of zombies rise up and tear their way out, heading towards a small vacation villa in a remote country side. 

A cycle of life and death: ALIEN (1979)

"In space, no one can hear you scream"

Horror and Sci-Fi are often grouped together as if it was a natural thing. It’s interesting that there are so few space/ horror films. It’s just something that doesn’t happen very often and in 1979 it was all but nonexistent, and then came ALIEN.

ALIEN opens up as a very quiet film. A seven person mining crew awakens from suspended animation after two years under. They assume that they are home but in actuality they are nearing an alien planet. “MOTHER”, the artificial intelligence onboard the ship has detoured to this world after picking up a distress signal. As a commercial starship, the crew argues that basically, this is not their job. It doesn’t make any difference. 

Monster Mash: Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman AKA Werewolf Shadow (1971)

“Things happen that have never been seen by human beings. The blood flows like vintage wine.”

I love a good monster mash, vampires, werewolves, zombies, all fighting over each other’s prey. Sure, Universal invented it, but Europe did it better. There was as much lust for flesh as there was for blood in those films, and Paul Naschy (The Hanging Woman) set the bar. The film Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman is quintessential Naschy, having all the elements that make his films captivating and enduring. 

A morgue is where the film opens. Two Doctors are performing a late night autopsy on the body of Waldemar Daninsky, a supposed werewolf who was shot by a silver bullet. According to superstition, if you remove the silver from the body, the werewolf will come back to life. Well they do, and he does, and the blood begins to flow.

The Hanging Woman AKA Orgy of the Living Dead (1973)

I love movies about people that go to strange places and enter a terrifying supernatural world. Hell, even Rocky Horror falls under that category. They used to make a lot of films like that and one of my favorites is The Hanging Woman.

The film opens with the death of the local Count. Soon after, a mysterious woman is sneaking around the cemetery and entering the crypt of the dead Count. After retrieving a document from the corpse, she is found and screams in terror as the screen fades to black. Enter Chuck Norris knock off Stelvio Rosi as Mr. Chekhov (No not THAT one) who arrives to claim his inheritance. Since no one will take him to the Manor after dark, he must fend for himself. Wandering in the darkness, he soon comes across the cemetery and the hanging corpse of the grave robbing woman!

The baddest bloody butler in town: Blue Blood (1973)

Oliver Reed is my hero. He was just such an awesome actor. The first time I remember seeing him was in Night Creatures and I thought he was just bad ass. He did all kinds of roles but nothing like 1973's Blue Blood. You might compare his performance to Tim Curry's in Rocky Horror. I can't describe why, (they couldn't be more different), but there is something in it that says "Frankfurter".